25 Random Things about La Ling

1. I have never been convicted of murder.
2. My favorite food is Twix.
3. For a million dollars, I would eat one small turd.
4. My great-great-grandmother was Kim from The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
5. When I was 8 years old, I invented a word for the back of my neck. The word was "crotch".
6. To any passengers on American Airlines flight 232 from LA to Miami on January 31: I was the one dropping bombs for five hours straight. And I'm not talking about the terrorist kind.
7. Every year on March 30, I pee my pants.
8. My favorite actress is Linda Dano.
9. I have never been called for jury duty because I was born without an anus.
10. I've been told that my Russian accent sounds like John Malkovich in Rounders.
11. I'm afraid of the song "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown".
12. My ground-breaking documentary about bulimia in sorority houses, entitled Mouth-Dumps, was short-listed for Oscar consideration.
13. I have a third nipple on my left eye.
14. My favorite word is "pork".
15. My friends call me Lenny -- but I ain't got no friends.
16. I'm still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model.
17. I was briefly engaged to Bobcat Goldthwaite in 2004.
18. My instincts are usually wrong.
19. I have an obsessive compulsion to blurt out "Julianna Margulies" when I'm nervous.
20. I won $25,000 on Wheel of Fortune for solving the most difficult "Before and After" puzzle in the history of the show: "Camryn Manheim Steamroller".
21. If I'm ever more than 15 minutes late, chances are it's because I didn't get a clean break.
22. I always trace my Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon through Ben Affleck.
23. My WoW avatar was the first to become infected with the Corrupted Blood plague when it got drunk and had unsafe sex with the Blood God Hakkar the Soulflayer.
24. If loving the Lord is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
25. I got my SAG card for a brief speaking role in Lionsgate's upcoming supernatural thriller The Haunting in Connecticut -- in theaters March 27th!

Comments

[Will]

Will you write my 25 Random Things for me? I'll pay you.

[Carol]

hahaha - "For a million dollars, I would eat one small turd."

[Carol]

I can't begin to understand your WoW comment = lol

[La Linguetta]

Update: Item #9 was rendered obsolete on June 21, 2010, when the Los Angeles County court system finally caught up with me. Apparently, the anus requirements for participating in the judicial process have now been lifted; even the anusless are expected to perform their civic duty. To read about my harrowing experience, check out the June 22, 2010 post entitled "Jury Duty in LA: Doo Not." Word.

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