YIS: The New Singelringen?

It's getting harder and harder for singles to find each other in the wild. But now, thanks to an Australian entrepreneur who boldly ventured where Singelringen went two years ago, singles everywhere are shouting a new anthem: YIS ("Yes, I am Single")!!

Take a look at the lady with the camel toe and the gay gentleman on the left. See that little blue thing they're wearing over their chest pectoralis muscles? That's YIS! And for just $22.95, you, too, can own a button that says you're as single as your judgment is bad.

While there is no wrong way to wear a YIS - much as there is no wrong definition of 'chode' - the website handily suggests a few right ways to YIS on yourself. Like:

Why not try wearing the badge in a group situation at the local pub or during a hens and bucks night?

Well, shit dog! If it's good for a hens and bucks night, we know we'll get some use out of it 2-3 nights a week. At least.

For more information about YIS, place your hand in a bowl of warm water overnight. The next morning, place your soiled sheets in the toilet and set them on fire as the sweet, sweet sounds of John Tesh fill your apartment. (You live alone, right?) If, after all of that, you are still interested in purchasing a YIS, start taking self defense classes and click here.

Snuggie: "Use Your Hands"

If you've already seen commercials for the Snuggie™, then you'll understand why anyone who hasn't heard of the Snuggie™ must be told about it immediately.

While the Snuggie™ is hardly as rare and obscure a find as the Singelringen™ (click here for more on that one), we believe it is important to recognize any company that can take a stupid product that has no right to succeed and sell it with a magically un-ironic commercial that made us choke from shouting so many "that's what she saids" in so short a span.

So what is a Snuggie™? Well, for starters, here's a picture:

And here's what the Snuggie™ website has to say:

Blankets are OK but they can slip and slide, plus your hands are trapped inside. The Snuggie™ keeps you totally warm and gives you the freedom to use your hands. Work the remote, use your laptop or do some reading in total warmth and comfort!

Could there be anything we might say to improve upon this? Might we point out the obsession Snuggie™ seems to have with hands? The freedom to use your hands?! We weren't even aware that such freedoms were at risk. Might we detract from the Snuggie™ by further pointing out that bathrobes, coats, sweatshirts, blankets, and basically anything one could possibly conceive of using to cover one's body, would also give us the freedom to use our hands?!

Nope, our first instincts were right - we can't do it any better.

That's what she said.

Singles: We're OK!

I was browsing through LA's new single-centric magazine, Singular, when I came across the answer to my most fervent prayers:

Singelringen: The world's first ring for single people!

Hands shaking, heart soaring -- could this be the eve of my liberation? -- I located the Singelringen website, and this clarion call for ringless singles everywhere:

By wearing your Singelringen, you declare that it is OK to be single. You may wish to find "the one", or you maybe quite satisfied with life as it is. Regardless, you will show to everyone that you accept and stand for what you are - an attractive single. As a single person, you are on your own, but you are not alone - there are many of us around the world. We should stand up for what we are - we are always more attractive to others when we are comfortable with our single status. Dare to be a proud single!

YES! Finally, at long last, yes!

But wait -- do any celebrities endorse Singelringen? Because, as "OK" as it is to be single, I'm not taking it public with myself until I know that someone better and cooler has prepared the way for my SinglePower. And lo and behold, there are celebrities who have actually gone there.

Jennifer Love Huge-Tits, for one, is a proud member of the Singelringen community:


Paula Abdul too!

Could the evidence be any more overwhelming? After all, it's never been harder to tell whether that attractive stranger in the bar is single or attached (it would be so gauche to steal a glance at their finger or, God forbid, ask).

Show your pride that no one has asked you to marry them -- or that you prefer to live alone with your cats -- and buy your Singelringen today!

(Images via Singelringen)